The guilt of cheating is a strong element and can break down a heartless man or woman whose conscience is alive. It makes an individual feel like he’s not worthy or that he can never be faithful. Do you want to know the truth? The truth is that you can suppress the guilt and move on with your life or with your partner if you’re still together. However, there is a requirement and that is knowing how to get over cheating guilt.
Are you a male dating a cheat? How about paying back a cheating girlfriend if you feel she went too far?
I receive lots of emails concerning cheating. In fact, over 50% of the mails I receive refer to heartbreaks and cheating. The email contents are usually kinds of stuff like how to deal with a cheating partner, what to do after cheating, how to confess to a partner after cheating and the likes. Of all these, the sorts of emails that move me are the ones that are about ‘guilt’. For you to feel guilty, it suggests that your conscience is alive and that you truly love that partner.
Hot Read: Best Places that Cheats Use!
If you’ve revealed the act to your partner, there’s no need to be like, “guilt of cheating is killing me”. The reason is that the burden in your mind has been lifted. On the contrary, if you haven’t informed your partner, the chances are that you do not love him. If you love him, that guilt will distort the relationship. By the way, does the guilt of cheating go away? Let’s find out!
Does the Guilt of Cheating Go Away?
The guilt of cheating goes away, however, it takes a bit of time. It goes like a process and requires certain actions to effectively depart.
Once, a close friend phoned in late at night. He disclosed that he was dying which made me spring up from the seat. I thought he meant literal death but it was actually about his shambled relationship. Soon afterward, he said, “Man, the guilt of cheating is killing me.” I could feel the death in question because he cheated on the woman he so loved.
Just like this friend of mine, such could be your state of mind, but not to worry there is a fix. I phoned him out and we did something that he’s still thankful for till today. I have also advised a few of those that mail me concerning this to do the same and it works. Let’s find out what that is.
How to Get Over Cheating Guilt and Become Happy
Instead of allowing guilt to kill you, do the following:
1. Find Time Out and Think
This doesn’t mean an avenue to sit and try to think of how good the cheating sex was. Head to a sit out, recount the event and dislike every moment. Think of that action that led to lovemaking see what should be done to put an end to it.
Did you cheat because you needed a job? In short, did you cheat because you needed favor? Think of an alternative to use without getting back to that man or woman. I quite understand that you do need that favor but it’s not looking good.
Seemingly, did you cheat because of a misunderstanding in the relationship? If that’s the case, figure out a way to avoid subsequent misunderstandings in your relationship.
Note: Most cheating acts from misunderstandings usually come up when partners cut communications for days, weeks or months.
Normally, I recommend gulping an iced drink during this time. I also recommend being alone. Depending on your body system, go for something with minimal alcohol or a juicy drink.
2. Reconcile with Yourself
The phrase “charity begins at home” equally applies here. This means that whatever thing would happen begins from its starting point. Even after your partner may have forgiven you, it’ll still be difficult to have happiness if you’re still angry with yourself. If you did the first task of finding time out well, at least 30% of anxieties must have been expelled. This is so because refreshing activities make your mind relaxed and open to fresher and better things.
Concerning how to get over cheating guilt, a good way is to meet with a confidential person. This can be done online or by personally meeting with either a professional therapist or an elderly relative. Discuss the issue as it is and have in mind that whatever you say is confidential. I wouldn’t mind a few minute conversations with you to make you get over the guilt.
3. Break Away with the Person You Cheated with
The moment you cut ties with the person you cheated with, it increases happiness and brings down guilt. This is estimated at 17% and it’s a large move towards recovery from guilt after cheating.
Whether the person is your best ever friend, live saver or whatever, You have to not just push them away but hate them. Make it obvious that everything that happened was stupid although it cannot be undone. Has the person been phoning in? Unless you sense that they are attempting to threaten you, pick the phone call. Otherwise, warn them to never in their life disturb your peace. This warning should not be indefinite because you may need them someday day in life.
4. Be Repentant Before Your Partner
Is your man or woman aware of the act? Unless they are not, you must be very humble before them. Try to bring down yourself to the barest minimum just to extract a bit of their happiness. It is common for people who date to have arguments. Normally, women win arguments. If you cheated as a woman, allow the man to win and if you cheated as a man, let the lady win. Despite that, arguments may not even hold between you guys for a long while. In fact, expect rejection from the man or woman but simply hold on.
5. Socialize More
Another principle concerning how to get over cheating guilt is to socialize. Socializing with people helps the brain to suspend so many things it should trigger the mind to think of. I can make an example of myself. I’m neither an introvert nor an extrovert, however, I don’t socialize much. So, very let’s just say that I socialize but not so much.
For the purpose of the problem, we are solving, socializing here will extend to relatives. If you do not stay with your partner, don’t stay alone. Staying alone makes you lonely and this means lots of flashbacks will distort your mind or better still make you weep. Although weeping is attributed to weakness, weeping after cheating, makes an individual look so down. Funny enough, if there’s any other person in the house, it will be so obvious.
While finding out how to get over cheating guilt, bear in mind that things need to restart. Be you the man or the woman in the relationship, you must make a step to propose for a new beginning.
Endeavor to make things appear natural and do not in any way try to shift the guilt. Lots of persons who cheat in a relationship prefer to remind their lovers of their actions that led to their cheating. However, it is very silly to do so. Instead of mending the heart of such a lover, you would be breaking it down the more.
Would My Lover Forgive Me?
The answer to this question is not available anywhere online. Never be deceived by people that your lover would forgive or rebuke you.
The answer is right in front of you and you must be careful not to pick the wrong answer. While some men or women will forgive, there is that tendency that they would be cheating behind you as a form of revenge. Who knows, maybe one day they would contact a chronic disease while having a steady love life with you. In essence, the best way to answer this is to closely study your partner’s moods.
If your partner displays the following signs, it may likely mean that he/she is no longer interested in the relationship.
- Refusal to communicate
- Not keeping you informed
- Faking smiles
- Forgetting the special days you both share
- Have a frequent conversation with strange person
- Smiling only when he/she is with others
- Constantly reminding you of what you did
- Always turned off from having sex with you
Having stated the above signs, let’s see a few signs that suggest he is ready to forgive or has forgiven you.
- Constant communication
- Asking for your opinions
- Phoning in to know how you feel
- Reminding you of dates
- Joking about the cheating act once in a while
However, a cunning lover may be able to hide these signs from you which is why you need to be careful.
You may not have meant it for things to be this way, however, you can’t undo what is already there. In as much as cheating is not ethical, we sometimes can’t control the situation despite trying harder.
What matters now is that you have to get yourself back up. Although a few persons recommend hiding the act from your lover, it won’t help your emotions. It is not necessary to reveal the incident but it is important for your adventure to put away the guilt.
Note: Over 69% of guys would want such relationship to end. If you value the relationship, however, and would love to continue with dating more than one guy, find out how to date multiple guys.
This article has painstakingly highlighted the needful things on how to get over cheating guilt. Simply follow the rules above to mend your broken heart. Moreover, if your lover shows signs of unforgiveness, it will be wrong to force the relationship no matter how you love him or her.